There are ways that your body lets you know that there is only so much you can take and enough is enough. My body decided to do just that in the last 10 days or so. I wasn't just tired, I started getting lots of strange symptoms that caused a dash to A&E twice in the space of a week, but didn't lead to anything concrete being diagnosed. After the first visit, I already suspected that stress might have something to do with it, and the second time I was there, the very sympathetic doctor confirmed that. She was lovely, listening to my story from the last few months and telling me that my body was showing classic signs of stress.
I took Thursday and Friday of last week off work, thinking I'd be ready on Monday again. On Saturday, I had quite a good day. On Sunday, I couldn't stop crying, didn't feel like doing any of the things I normally enjoy at the weekend, and had a major panic at the thought of having to go to work. On the advice of my wise dad I went back to the GP on Monday and got myself signed off for a week. I felt so relieved.
That's now three days ago and I'm slowly beginning to feel more like myself again. I'm taking it very easy, still doing things around the house, getting I. and N. off to school and cooking meals, but I'm also sleeping lots and doing things I enjoy rather than things I have to do. I'm still tired and I've noticed if I do too much in one day when I feel good, I pay for it the next day. But the thought of having to go to work next week doesn't frighten me anymore, which is a good sign.
I've definitely learnt something from this. My life is so busy and I put so much pressure on myself to get certain things done - work, the kids, the house, going to see B., keeping fit - that at the end of the day, there is very little if no time at all left to do exactly what I WANT to do, rather than what I feel I SHOULD do. And I'm not going to do that anymore. I am very good at wanting to do things for other people, wanting to make them happy, but in the process, I end up at the very bottom of the list of priorities. I think it's time I changed that and start to learn that it doesn't matter sometimes if I don't go out for a run or a swim, but that I will feel better if I make time to sit down with a book or my knitting.
It doesn't matter how old you are, you never stop learning, do you.
Look after yourself. x
ReplyDeleteTake care, get yourself some "me" time- it's invaluable! Involve our kids, ask them to help you- they are capable to do a lot more than we use to think they can! And normally they love to be included! (making dinner, vacuuming, laundry...)Also, guilt is probably the worst enemy we women have...
ReplyDeleteSo again, take care, you've had a rough time.
I'm so glad you took the week off to take care of yourself! You've had such a rough time lately, taking care of everyone but yourself - it's no wonder your body forced you to take a break.
ReplyDeleteHave a cup of tea and relax every now and then. It's mandatory :-)
Good for you for taking positive action and looking after yourself - that way everyone will benefit. Take good care!
ReplyDeleteyou have been juggling a great deal recently. a little "me time" is definitely in order.
ReplyDeletei have been struggling with the same issue: trying to balance it all. physically, i just can't keep doing it all. it took way too long for me to accept that. i am making a point of working a little time for fun things instead of using every bit of energy for chores, etc. having a little fun each day is making it easier to manage the pain.
Glad to hear you are taking some time to take for yourself. It sounds like you are doing what you need to do. Warm thoughts are headed your way.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon. think getting signed off work was a good thing. Been in similar situations myself in the past and now, because of my back injuries, i've got to be very careful about pacing myself and most of the time I fail miserably.
ReplyDeleteRe the newsletter. I've had quite a few people sign up and noone else has told me of a problems so could be a temporary thing. But if you want to be on the list, send me an e-mail through the website and I'll add you manually.
Get well soon. Lots of knitting may help.
Happy to hear you did something good for your self. I know how you feel- I`m in a similar situation right now, and do take day by day. I cry alot and for no reason. Feeling so purly and alone lust for work do not exist. I have been told to go to see my GP, but dont seem to get there.I know I will go to work tomorrow and it will end in tears.. You make me realice that I have to do something. Have a nice sunday and coming week. hugs.
ReplyDelete