Thursday 28 April

I'm prescribing myself a sofa day tomorrow... boy am I tired! It's been a bit of a rollercoaster week, and I remember from last year that it is important that I don't keep going as a sort of superwoman, but take time out for myself as well. So, tomorrow I'll be mostly watching a certain wedding and doing some knitting and not much else.

After mum unexpectedly popped into the cafe yesterday morning on her way back after her MRI scan, I spent most of the day working till it was time for her appointment with the surgeon. He kept us waiting for over half an hour, but then took all the time we needed.
So far things aren't quite clear cut. There are two abnormal areas (on the same side, thankfully), of which one is definitely malignant. The other one they're not sure about, and they want to be certain what it is before they decide on a course of action as it could mean the difference between a mastectomy or lumpectomy. The medical team were meeting tonight and would take a decision then - chances are they'll do a biopsy on the second area to determine its nature before they set a date for the operation. After the operation there will be a course of treatment, but until they know the exact type of cancer, they also can't say yet what that treatment will entail.

I did come away feeling much more positive than I had earlier this week. The outlook is so much better than with pancreatic cancer, and the team is very optimistic and most of all, very caring. Of course I would rather she didn't have cancer again, but I feel she couldn't be in better hands and that makes a big difference.

It was all very tiring though. After we'd finished talking to the team, we had something to eat in the cafe and then I set off back to the ferry. My usual road was closed and I had to take a detour without my GPS or a map as I'd forgotten both, just relying on my rusty knowledge of topography from primary school! I did get to the port on time and travelled back last night on the overnight ferry. Drove straight from Harwich to Cambridge to go to work (my colleagues said I could work from home but I thought the distraction of being in the office would be welcome), and by the middle of the afternoon I started to feel very tired. I'm now just waiting for B. to ring and then I can get my head down...

So, a long way to go yet and still with a longer stay in Holland in the future, but it's a cautiously optimistic future we're facing. And for now, I'm very grateful for that.

And a little PS: thank you for all the well wishes. They are much appreciated...