Waiting game

It seems from when mum first became ill back at the beginning of September, that we spend most of our time waiting...

The hospital has an internet cafe where I'm writing this blog entry. We had to be here for 7.30 am which meant leaving at 6.15 am as traffic is notorious in Holland and to get here you have to drive part of the route on one of the busiest stretches of motorway. We got here in plenty of time, to find she was first on the list this morning and by 7.45 she was all prepared and being wheeled downstairs. Saying goodbye was hard - especially as she heard me burst into tears and told me to be strong in the way she used to when I was small. The staff are great; mum will have a room to herself when she's back on the ward and they told me I could stay there while she is in the operating theatre. They've also put me on the menu list so I don't have to worry about food. I can't concentrate on anything though; I thought I'd manage to while away some time checking my emails and reading some blogs but I just don't seem to take anything in. I'm anxiously watching the clock and my mobile, although I'm not really expecting to hear anything for another hour or so. In a way I wish this waiting was over, on the other hand I'm scared of what they're going to tell me.